Grief: The uninvited guest that comes anytime, anyday.
Grief has a way of sneaking up on you, like an uninvited guest that shows up without warning, at any time, and in any form. It doesn’t follow a schedule or wait for the “right time.” Grief can flood in when you least expect it: during a quiet moment, a family gathering, or even in the middle of your day-to-day routine. The weight of it can hit at any moment, and it can feel like the world has paused, leaving you alone with your pain.
For those who have experienced loss, grief is never linear. It doesn’t follow a path that can be predicted or controlled. It ebbs and flows—sometimes overwhelming you, other times retreating just enough to catch your breath. But it’s never gone. And sometimes, just when you think you’ve learned to manage it, grief shows up again.
My Personal Journey with Grief
Grief has been a constant companion in my life, arriving at moments when I least expected it and staying longer than I ever imagined. I want to share with you two of the most profound losses I’ve experienced: the loss of my 3-year-old son, and the loss of his father, seven years later. Disclosure: My son passed away in 2017, the last conversation me and his father ever had was April 2018, 1 day after Ky’s death anniversary.
Losing my son was a heartbreak I can hardly put into words. The shock of losing a child at such a young age felt like a deep, unhealable wound—one that cut straight through the core of who I was. I had dreams for him, hopes for his future, and I believed that I would watch him grow up, become who he was meant to be. But that future was stolen in an instant. Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a child. No amount of therapy or time seems to ease the ache in your heart.
Then, seven years later, Ky’s father tragically passed away. The grief from that loss was profound in its own way, especially with all I endured in that relationship. Both griefs are unique, yet intertwined, and each loss brought its own set of challenges. The pain never truly goes away, but with time, you learn how to carry it.
In the midst of both of these losses, there were days when grief would strike unexpectedly. I could be driving, grocery shopping, or just sitting in my living room when the flood of emotions would wash over me again. I never knew when it would come, or how intense it would be. Grief doesn’t have a set timetable, and it doesn’t follow a neat and predictable path.
Anger. Bargaining. Depression.Denial. Acceptance. Are all apart of the stages of grief. ALLOW YOURSELF TO GRIEVE.
What Grief Teaches Us
Through my journey, I’ve learned that grief is not something you “move on” from—it’s something you learn to live with. It doesn’t have an expiration date, and it doesn’t follow anyone’s expectations. But with time and patience, grief can also transform. The sharpness of the pain may dull, and the weight might lighten, but the love and the memories stay with you forever.
It’s important to acknowledge that grief is personal. Everyone experiences it differently, and there is no “right” way to grieve. Some people cry, others withdraw, some may feel anger, while others experience numbness. None of these reactions are wrong—they are all valid. The best thing we can do for ourselves and others who are grieving is to allow space for those feelings without judgment.
Scripture for Comfort in Grief
In moments when grief feels unbearable, turning to Scripture has brought me comfort and peace. God’s Word doesn’t promise an easy journey, but it does promise that we are never alone in our pain. He walks with us, holds us, and offers His strength when we feel too weak to stand.
One of the most comforting verses I found during my darkest times was Psalm 34:18:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
This verse became a balm for my soul. It reminded me that in my deepest sorrow, I was not forgotten. Even when I couldn’t feel His presence, I trusted that God was near, especially when I was crushed by the weight of loss.
Another verse that provided peace was Isaiah 41:10:
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
This promise was a lifeline for me during times of deep despair. Even in my weakest moments, I held onto the truth that God was holding me up—whether I felt it or not.
The Power of Healing in Time
Healing from grief doesn’t mean forgetting or moving on. It means learning how to navigate life with your loss. It’s about finding ways to honor the memory of those you’ve lost while also continuing to live, love, and grow. Healing takes time, and there will be moments when you feel like you’re taking two steps forward and one step back. That’s okay.
As I continue on my own healing journey, I’ve found comfort in therapy and the support of others who have experienced loss. Talking about my pain, sharing my story, and processing my grief with a therapist has been crucial. Therapy doesn’t “fix” grief, but it provides a safe space to express emotions, gain coping strategies, and, most importantly, be reminded that it’s okay to grieve in your own way.
Moving Forward With Grief
In the end, I’ve learned that grief is not something to fear, but something to embrace with grace. We don’t have to have it all together. It’s okay to be vulnerable, to cry, to feel lost, and to miss our loved ones. Grief doesn’t go away, but with time, it evolves, and we evolve with it.
If you’re currently navigating your own grief, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to seek help, whether through therapy, prayer, or simply leaning on those around you. The journey is hard, but healing is possible.
And in those quiet moments when grief feels like it will swallow you whole, remember Revelation 21:4:
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
One day, all pain and grief will cease, and until then, God promises to be with us every step of the way.
If you’re grieving, or you know someone who is, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Whether it’s through a therapist, a support group, or a trusted friend, there’s help available to help you carry the weight of loss.
